So right now I feel like the shy kid entering a classroom except the teacher, in this case Ms. Nova, quickly tells the class (you readers) that we have a new student today. I got my lunchbox in hand, adjust my glasses, and take a seat. Now I’m asked to stand up in front of the class and talk about my latest experience with dating, nervously hoping I get some applauses (likes or comments to this post)…I clear my throat and this is how it goes.
My latest date involved a a few assertive text messages where I made the point of being both short but decisive. I made the plan, added a bit of wit, and told her I’d be at the coffee shop in about 15 minutes. I brought my IPad along just in case she cancelled or was more than 10 minutes late, plus it keeps me busy while the anticipation builds. Using my peripherals I see her getting out of her car and heading inside the store, though I was outside hanging out on the patio (I’m sure some of you are guilty of this). I figure this will put the power in my hand as now she’s unsure and a bit shaky wondering where I’m at plus I can witness her playing with her phone the second I send her a text. She looks up and nervously cracks a smile, I stand up and get the door for her as she comes out on the patio.
Then things got awkward….
After the protocol, “How’s your day” eye contact was hard to keep up upon me staring at a piece of food stuck in between her two front teeth. “I hate you Type A brain, leave me alone and let me enjoy my date”, it felt like I was possessed by a demon I dub “Supercritica”. This inner demon now had me on overdrive judging her every comment and putting me in analytical high alert. Maybe it was the caffeine finally working its way into my system, I’m really not sure but it seemed things were going well until she started talking about politics. That is a NO NO during a first date and now I’m worried a Freudian Slip may cause me to say “You need to floss” instead of “You need to vote”. Like a good gentleman I played the 30% talking and 70% listening rule, but it was pure torture. The combo of front teeth “mole mole mole” and her blaming politicians for everything (I hope Obamacare covers a good dental cleanup for her) had me visibly cringing. To hide the cringing I drank my latte and made sure to smile every few seconds just to show my appreciation for being there. After about 45 minutes I felt it was time to end the date by telling her that I need to study for an exam, I wasn’t lying since we’re all students of life right? As I type this my tongue rolls around in my mouth to make sure there’s nothing in between, I’d hate for life to hit me with a right hook of irony when I’m trying to impress a girl I’m into.
Well I’m going to end this now by working in reverse and telling you a bit about who I am. I’m a 31 year old entrepreneur who’s also in an MBA program that in essence takes up alot of my time. I’m one of those recession type hipsters that has fun on a budget yet smart and hard working enough not to wait around to make a buck. I’ll reveal more but for now I’ll sit down and wait for any applauses from the classroom. In all seriousness though if you liked this blog feel free to comment if I should officially become a contributing blogger for Scenergy Dating. I promise my feelings won’t be hurt but I will be elated if I make the cut.
Peace and chicken grease,