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Dating, online dating, Self Improvement

The Year of the Lover: Finding Love 2012

Happy New Years! Have you set up your new years resolution? Did you know, that majorities number one 2012 resolution is to have better relationships with family and friends.This prioritization commitment to making the most of our relationships with the people we love says big things about where we stand. Perhaps it’s the tough economy that’s forcing us to consider how much more personal bonds matter than those extra five pounds do, and reflect on why it’s so important to nurture our relationships with the people who support us when it’s questionable whether we’ll be fully able to support ourselves. But to me, this shift in resolutions is indicative of something even more meaningful: for a culture that often gets a bad rap for being self-centered and entitled (an accusation directed most often at us young adults), finally we’re turning the focus away from ourselves and onto the important people in our lives. Lots of us have learned the hard way that we actually do need loving relationships, and we’re ready to show up … for the the ones we’re in, and the ones we want.

How to stick to your New Year’s Resolution of finding Love:

1. Address any obstacles. If you’re hurting from your past you need to tend to the wound first. The only way to have someone join into your life is to have a seat for them. Everyone has past relationships but this can not reflect next. You have to change your attitude about dating because there are great men/women out there, and you will do what you need to do to meet them.

2. Believe that you’re ready. When you tell yourself your ready does not mean you are.This is the year you are going to find love. You will put dating before your social life and your work. You will set aside at least two nights per week to date and will make it your number one priority. You won’t just talk the talk. You are going to walk the walk.

3. Accept imperfection. This is the most common fear when it comes to pursuing love. We’re all scared of [involving ourselves] intimately in love with another person. Because it means we’re getting intimately in love with another human being who is imperfect — who is just as wounded as we are. And it’s crucial to understand that even when you’re in a loving relationship, pain will surface occasionally. We tend to have attractions to people who we know on some level can help us heal from the past. That means actually reactivating the original wounds of betrayal, rejection, abandonment. When you look at it that way, no wonder it can be so scary to get involved with someone, this is the way a relationship can help us grow into our fullest potential.To be in a relationship is a journey. Tell yourself, “I will burn my list. If I’m so smart and know what my ideal man/woman looks like, then why haven’t I found him/her yet? I will let go of my “type” and will date a wider range of men/women. Maybe I’ll date a little older or a different race. I challenge the Universe to surprise me and know it will take care of me.”

4. Let your emotions rule. In 2012, when pain, anger, and love bubble up inside, allow yourself to experience them deeply. Hold onto them for a moment. Acknowledge them. Even act on them. That’s the only way to develop what is the “physical container” that’s necessary for us to live in relationship with another person. At the first sight of somebody’s imperfection or not showing up according to their expectations, we’ll head for the exit door. Unless you have the willingness to be that vulnerable, love will be elusive.

5. Define your goal. What type of relationship are you being called to experience right now? Are you looking to get married? Are you looking to have a long-term committed relationship? Maybe you just want to get back into the dating world. Many people set a short-term goal to date more, accompanied by a longer-term goal to enter a committed relationship. An important tip, it’s helpful to set a time frame, because if we hold ourselves to it, we’ll start to notice the obstacles we’re encountering — for example: Every man I dated this year was emotionally unavailable. A deadline of sorts gives us a window of time to grasp an awareness of our experiences.

6. Set the intention. When we have a goal, then we can really take stock of where our energy lies. It’s not like, I’m wishing for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Instead: ‘I’m setting the intention to find my life partner.’ Or, ‘I’m setting the intention to date three men without getting so quickly involved sexually. And it is absolutely critical to identify where our energy truly lies, because you may think that you want one thing, while in reality your energy is guiding you elsewhere. We may tell ourselves that we want to get married, but on an energetic level, marriage may be absolutely terrifying. Setting the intention is really important for taking responsibility for the obstacles that appear in our lives, and this is what helps us to understand and transcend the disappointment that’s inevitable. We’re not just taking ourselves out of the game after the first rejections. If your intention is set, you keep moving forward.

7. Do not get discouraged or give up! This is going to take commitment and hard work, but in the end, it will be worth it. You will keep your chin up and have a positive attitude because love is just around the corner. You will be excited and say “thank you” in advance for the wonderful man/woman who is about to enter your life.”

Enjoy this year, because you have the control to make it worth while. Subscribe today to Single in San Antonio! Sign up for a FREE profile scenergy-dating.com online dating, matchmakers, and singles events to help you get to your 2012 Love Resolution!



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