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Dating, Guest Author, Men's Guide, online dating

Men’s Guide to: Why She Didn’t Respond- Online Dating Message Mistakes

Our guest blogger of The Reemachronicles writes on the subject of Online Dating and other topics to help men in the dating scene. Please, check out his blog for great stories and even better advice.

Why She Didn’t Respond- Online Dating Message Mistakes

by The Reemachronicles


 I get a lot of emails asking me, “How do I guarantee she will respond?” Or ”What can I do to increase my response rate?” First off, nothing is guaranteed in online dating. Next, it comes down to your profile, pictures and your messages. Without these three things ON POINT, you will not maximize your online dating success. Today, I want to focus on messaging mistakes. Online dating messaging mistakes will kill you. How many emails have you sent to women, without responses? Probably lots. But that’s Ok, I have too! Once you understand the main reasons why she didn’t respond, you’ll be able to perfect your message game and start getting a lot more responses. Let’s look at some common online dating message mistakes:

1. You were rude or too sexual.

A lot of things can turn a girl off, but being rude or too sexual is on top of her list. She’s a woman; don’t try to get her attention by shock value. Don’t use any four letter words, don’t ask her what her favorite position is, don’t ask her if she has any nude photos, and don’t tell her your sexual fantasies. Yes, this does work from time to time but, for the most part she will delete your email.

2. You didn’t get her attention.

You already know attractive, quality women, can receive over fifty messages a day. That is some serious competition. If you don’t get her attention fast, you’ll be lost and she’ll move on without replying. You can get her attention by using a great subject line, actually be interested in her and be FUNNY!

3. You throw up her red flags.

Guys, women don’t want to hear about your baggage and insecurities. She doesn’t want to hear about your ex, problems, addictions. Keep that t to yourself. Also, NEVER email her more than once before she replies. Being needy is not going to change her mind about you.

4. She thinks you are shallow.

Attractive women know guys are contacting them because they think they are hot. You don’t have to broadcast that to her. Don’t ask her for sexier photos, don’t ask for body shots, and don’t tell her what you want to do to her. There are tons of guys already doing that. Don’t be one of them.

5. She’s just not into you.

It seems like a lot of guys can’t seem to get this through their heads. No matter what you do, some girls just aren’t going to be into you. You put your best foot forward, have a great photo, display your personality and value, and she still doesn’t respond? It’s not you, it’s her.



6 thoughts on “Men’s Guide to: Why She Didn’t Respond- Online Dating Message Mistakes

  1. great blog

    Posted by online dating | October 20, 2011, 8:09 am
  2. You should take part in a contest for among the finest blogs on the web. I will advocate this web site!

    Posted by No Name | November 11, 2011, 3:36 pm
  3. You forgot the most important mistake: not actually reading her profile!

    As an online dater, I get bombarded with messages every day that have clearly been copied and pasted, or just simply say things like “hi, how are you?”

    Normally I ignore them. One time, when I’d had enough of it, I responded to a guy with some constructive (albeit ranty) criticism, and he didn’t take it well. I blogged about it here: http://mildredgoesfishing.wordpress.com/2011/11/06/the-fish-are-biting/

    Some guys just don’t seem to understand the concept of – Read profile/Respond to profile/Strike up conversation.

    Posted by Mildred Locke | November 15, 2011, 10:57 am
  4. Agree! This was submitted from another blogger. But on a post I submitted to his blog which is a men’s online dating advice http://reemachronicles.wordpress.com/2011/11/11/shes-backkkkk-nova-chopping-up-game-part-2/ I explain exactly that!!

    Thank you for reading!

    Posted by Nova | November 15, 2011, 11:11 am
  5. Great one. Having both been part of the online dating world all those categories are true.
    I’d have to say the main ones were always : just did not find them attractive, they had a trait I didn’t like such as smoking or too much drinking and often what they wrote to me in the message. If it seemed like they sent a standard cut and paste message then definitely that warrants no response but if I ever got one that said “Hey cutie” that also warrants no response.
    Sometimes people wrote far too much and they came off as too strong, that in itself was somewhat of a turn off.
    Best messages are short, sweet and to the point. Humour is always good but not stupid humour, we’re both suckers for a witty sense of humour. Shows far more personality than some silly joke.


    Brooke and Mckenzie


    Posted by BROOKEandMCKENZIE | November 22, 2011, 7:47 pm
  6. Great post Nova. Simple and to the point. I have to say I agree with you on all points. So many guys have zero clue about what it is that women like. Too many think it’s swag, or game, or making her feel sexy. It really just screams lame, lame, loser! I think 5 is like the hardest pill for some people to swallow though. Especially hazardous is the guy shut down by the girl that he thinks is amazing.

    Some people function by that old school thought system of wearing her down, but really all you’re doing is wearing her out and guiding her finger to the block user button lol.

    Posted by Andrew Rowley | November 29, 2011, 4:58 pm

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